January 2009 Archives

stand-up sandwich

as my friend and I were discussing some new process we were going to use to make our latest invention, he set his sandwich down on its end.

I forgot what we were talking about as I doubled over laughing.

some people just do what's required in life to get the job done.

and some of us laugh at them.

he did not want to be associated online forever and ever with this stand-up sandwich routine and agreed that I chop his head off.

detritus of Menlo Park

found on the ground in a parking lot in Menlo Park.  I thought it was a ball bearing.  or hematite.  my friend somehow discovered it was a magnet.  we made detours on our walk to see what it would stick to.

breasts, sort of

breastThmJuliaBradshaw.jpg Julia, you have The Quirkiest, most understated and classiest sense of humor I've known.

See her most unusual breast photographs.

Thanks to Kent Manske and Nan Wylde for their Preneo Press conceptual space and encouragement to play.

roll your own valentine hearts

with a CO2 laser, one can deface pretty much any solid item sold as food.

make your own online.

for the curious, some are raster etched while others are done using very low heat vector settings.  the laser room smelled like cotton candy.

1000 Journals @ SFMOMA

1000Jp107.jpg Yes, I'm showing at SFMOMA ... well, kinda. It just so happened that the journal I contributed to was one that made it "home" and into this show. read more about this fantastic experiment and come see the film! Andrea Kreuzhage did a wonderful job capturing the human aspects that swirled around this project.

for my contribution, I riffed off of someone else's offering -- "what if the hokey pokey is what it's all about?"

1000Jp114-5.jpg and I responded with captioned magazine photos.

left: yes, what you read in the papers this morning is true. The bible does say that it's all about the hokey pokey.

Now please line up so we can get started as soon as the band is ready.

right: You guys do the hokey pokey ONE MORE TIME on that court and I'll have each of you expelled.

unseen unsaid

peeling back the layers of the unmentionable

Climate Theater
8pm-Midnight  Feb 21, 2009  $10

this show will be for one night only, with a collection of over 20 artists exhibiting a wide range of art forms from photography and painting to video and dance performance.

the theme is my favorite subject - taBoos. hard, soft, light, funny, dark, whatever. wall art, sculpture, performance, writings. I will have several crochet pieces on display, some which have never seen the public light of day.

if you're new to this space, think smaller Winchester Mystery House but with more nooks & crannies.  my feeling is that everything will all look like a sorta normal house until you look a little closer.  my FAYYYvorite kind of art.

Press release on famed fecal face.

natural blunders

I checked out the Natural Blunders show at the de Saisset on the Santa Clara University campus.  this kind of art resonates with my veins and I was not disappointed.

Tara Tucker's walking forest.  reminded me of how I've wanted to do the reverse - leave parts of my body on the shelf while I go do something else.  why do I have to carry around every single body part of mine all the time even when I'm not using it?  well, ok, it's better than having to carry around a tree.
a wall of cicada exoskeletons by Cheryl Coon.  a wall of ... oh ... 8' x 10'.  A Lot.  I dare you to stand close to it.
super sucker by my friend Stephanie Metz.  she creates her pieces by felting them.  you know how one felts, yes?  with a special needle into wool - poke over and over.  and over.  into the shape of teats.  24 of them.  will give any teat owner the willies.
called The Kiss by John Slepian, I was amazed at the empathy I could feel for this half furred lumpy skinned digital creature whining toward the left wall beyond which another similar creature on another monitor whined back.
and saving the most surprisingly beautiful for last - it took me 2 seconds with David Hevel's piece to make a beeline to the excessively bejewelled asses of each of three ... three ... animals, yes, animals.  I'm not sure exactly what they were - monkey/dog-like visions.  such vivid colors and expressions - and asses.  did I mention their asses?

knit your brains out

a whole site dedicated to scientifically accurate fabric brain art. of course, their disclaimer states that they're not responsible if you use these models to perform brain surgery. but what if I use a scalpel made out of yarn?

ganglia - inspired by one company I worked for years ago, I found myself crocheting this piece as a calming meditation. I stopped one day and just looked around me and wondered: HOW could we still be in business acting the way we do? clusterbackstabbing everywhere. the only answer I could come up with was that our competitors were doing the same?

poor ganglia ...

I'm happy to report they're much better now.

pranks with toilet paper roll innards

have you ever been so hit with instant comprehension of an over the top idea that you open your eyes so full that they hurt?  and your eyeball falls out?  ok, me neither BUT my eyelid muscles stung like I might've ripped something when a fellow laser creator this evening hit on just what to do with a bunch of toilet paper innards.

tpRoll.jpgetch sudoku puzzles on them and then reconstitute them with a couple sittings' worth of toilet paper (unused, you ninny) rolled back on them.  then sabotage your friends' bathrooms.

thank you, Robert Snedegar, for this hilarious idea!  we continued to riff on this....

why isn't Scott Tissue trying to sell tp like Pepsi sells drinks?  "Win prizes!  Read the innard of your tp roll to see what you've won!  Win a lifetime supply!"

someone should ask someone else to marry them this way, the perpetrator pacing the halls, borrowing the neighbor's bathroom to ensure that their intended recipient will be the next user of the bathroom to get the message.  we won't talk about what happens if the recipient is overjoyed with the proposal and forgets ... what ... state they're in before pursing the object of their affections.

and limericks - why isn't anyone putting dirty limericks on tp rolls to entertain the cleaned up masses?

I wonder what mine says ...

it's not fiction, is it?

inaugurationObama.jpgI don't usually write about clearly political topics but today ... I just watched Obama's inaugural address and I feel like I'm on another planet watching happenings on a planet far far away.  or maybe I'm reading a random fiction book.  or listening to a friend describe a bizarre dream he had.  it's so easy to fake things on the web.  but this isn't fake ... is it?  can someone somehow help me see if this is fake or not?  if I start to feel what his words started to move me to feel ... wow ... I have no words for that and I could become a blubbering mess.  so, web ... Obama ... if you're real, I look forward to what your leadership effects will help us all achieve together for this whole world.  my oh my.

cock patch

cockPatchField.jpgahh, what's a gorgeous day without a stroll through the local cock patch ...

cock patch

cockPatch.jpgI'm happy to say I have a lot of clown friends.  one of these friends had a hole in his jeans.  being a clown friend who likes my work and encourages me any chance he can, he asked for a cock patch.  and so I made him one.

deep space cervix

spaceCervix.jpg today's Astronomy Picture of the Day sure does look like a cervix.  And it even has two little sperm-like shapes at the lower left seemingly trying to wiggle their way through the black hole.

I use this site as my default browser home page because they have so many imPRESSive images.

sexy sf - stunning sf

sfissexy.jpg In her San Francisco is Sexy blog, Kathryn Vercillo highlights online shops local to our dear city that she thinks are sexy.  my etsy shop Crumbs on the Sheets made her list.

I checked her list and fell in love with the sensuous clothing of Rose La Biche.  then I looked at her page - she's a full-time freelance writer covering all sorts of topics.  I followed links to everywhere including writings on creativity and creating wealth by giving time and, gee, I wanna meet this woman!

She writes, "... Sexy isn't just about sex. It's about passion and inspiration and ...".  Read it all here.  I aGREE!!  I am also a big fan of our town because for over 20 years I've seen it as that stunning combination of both ordinary and magical at the same time!

moving from WP to MT

RewriteRainbow.jpgHow do you redirect your old Word Press links to your new Movable Type links? And how do you talk about techy stuff on this nuze blog? Photoshop rainbow gradient ;) along with ftp or shell access to your site, knowledge of the .htaccess file, and commands like these:

My old WP links looked something like this:

My new MT links look something like this:

I used the following two commands inserted into my .htaccess file:
RewriteCond %{QUERY_STRING} ^m=200803
RewriteRule ^(.*)$ http://www.mysite.com/MTdir/2008/03/? [R=301,L]

Since there was no similarly repetitive way to use regular expressions to refer to either set of links, I had to build one set of these commands for each link I wanted to preserve, replacing the m=200803 string with all the other strings for all the links I cared about and replacing the destination subdirectories /2008/03 accordingly.

One piece of advice I found on the web that was wrong derailed me for more hours than I'd like to admit. Do NOT put the RewriteEngine on / off lines around your rules to essentially comment out your code while you're debugging (or any other time). The Apache manual clearly states not to do this but I didn't catch it for quite a while.

In other words, don't do this:

RewriteEngine on
RewriteCond %{QUERY_STRING} ^m=200803
RewriteRule ^(.*)$ http://www.mysite.com/MTdir/2008/03/? [R=301,L]
RewriteEngine off

RewriteEngine off
RewriteCond %{QUERY_STRING} ^m=200804
RewriteRule ^(.*)$ http://www.mysite.com/MTdir/2008/04/? [R=301,L]
RewriteEngine off

Instead, do this:

RewriteEngine on
RewriteCond %{QUERY_STRING} ^m=200803
RewriteRule ^(.*)$ http://www.mysite.com/MTdir/2008/03/? [R=301,L]

If you're freshly installing a WP blog now, I'd suggest changing the default URL form. Seems there's no good reason to use this form. Maybe by the time you read this, they will have changed the default form to be more appropriate. If you've already accumulated links to your blog, you might not want to change this form unless you can redirect the existing links because all your links will change on your site and then the incoming links using the original form won't work.

Thanks to the help offered by so many via the web about web things, I've been able to do so much more of my own web work. And it finally happened - I wanted a solution for something that I couldn't easily find on the web. So now after much digging and trial and error, I happily offer my solution to keep this sharing thing going.

sweet lips

oh, let me count the sweet ways!

About this Archive

This page is an archive of entries from January 2009 listed from newest to oldest.

December 2008 is the previous archive.

February 2009 is the next archive.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.