nuze of laura mappin: July 2010 Archives

berry dial

By laura on July 17, 2010 10:19 AM

for that point when you've stuffed yourself picking them fresh off the vines and you haven't made a dent in the ripe supply.

announcing ----

The Berry Dial!

attach it to your berry vines and dial back their fecundity to match your hunger level!

iPhone/iPad/iPhood app coming soon which senses your hunger level through a tiny sensor you have implanted under your skin; then it wirelessly, continuously manages your berries.

new attachments coming for fruit trees, cacti, and tubers.

embroidered bread

By laura on July 15, 2010 8:01 PM | 1 Comment

this would go well with what looked like someone embroidering a sandwich, which prompted this story.

assistance at the nut house, please

By laura on July 13, 2010 11:03 AM

I entered the grocery store last night and heard, "Assistance requested at the nut house, please. Assistance requested at the nut house."

I started laughing, looking around for which friends of mine were pulling this off for my benefit when I realized I was indeed passing by the nut display counter and a large tall man was seriously gazing around looking for assistance.

How Did the Person Announce That with a Straight Voice?

and no one else even snickered ...

why pay for milk when ...

By laura on July 11, 2010 10:33 PM

printeet.com t-shirt store asks:

my answer:

ok, so their orientation's a little different.
they also have one that says:

my angels

By laura on July 8, 2010 8:08 AM

I had only seen my angels in my imagination until crookedbrains posted the work of Lisa Lichtenfels.

I have about eight of these angels sitting around two card tables in the clouds, playing poker, smokin' and drinkin' - g&t's or whatever's around. a couple are male. every now and then they look down to see what i'm about. on occasion they fight over who has to leave the game to swoop down to stop me from doing something really really stupid. sometimes they don't make it in time.