I entered the grocery store last night and heard, "Assistance requested at the nut house, please. Assistance requested at the nut house."
I started laughing, looking around for which friends of mine were pulling this off for my benefit when I realized I was indeed passing by the nut display counter and a large tall man was seriously gazing around looking for assistance.
How Did the Person Announce That with a Straight Voice?
and no one else even snickered ...
if my friend Will Davis wrote the bible, I'd be so there. check it out as he reinterprets for the season.
And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.'"
So it was about midnight in the Alsam Bar. Two, three guys from the parking garage next door, sittin' 'round, trying to get warm, or at least drunk enough to think they were.
So some guy I ain't never seen before, so tall he has to duck under the jamb, walks in, buff, arms ripplin' like snakes under his shirt. He didn't have no coat, didn't look like he wanted one.
He didn't have the body fat of a squirrel, neither.
A couple of the boys move off, but he's smilin' 'n he's all: "It's all good." He nods a beer outta the bartender, takes a hit, puts down the bottle, looks around 'n says, in a voice big as he is, "You'll never believe this, but they's this kid born over in Oaktown? He's the real deal. 7854 89th, round the back in the garage. No lights or heat. But he's the real deal."
He puts down the empty, turns, and as he walks out, he slaps the jukebox, 'n it jumps right off Garth 'n starts playin' Silent Night. You want to know what else? Sumbitch jukebox doesn't even have Silent Night on it, swear to God.
We go outside 'n he's, like, gone.