June 2010 Archives

make your own adult chocolate mold!

you know you want to.

be the hit of the party with custom shapes, sizes, angles, and proportions! use it with chocolate as well as jello, ice cubes, soap ... you name it!

I'll take you through the whole process, you'll get to see the machines in action, do some setup, ask lots of questions and get a feel for what's involved so you can come back and do it on your own.

choose a pre-designed adult themed shape (or send me something beforehand and maybe I can get it ready). optionally add your own short word or message. watch your part get cut out of wood on the Shopbot CNC Mill. help prepare the vacuum former to suck a piece of hot plastic into your wooden plug to create a food grade plastic mold. fill it with chocolate, cool, demold, and start nibbling.

you'll get to take your plastic mold, wooden plug, and molded chocolate home with you!

come back and take the vacuum former class and make more plastic molds. or also take the shopbot class and make your own new wooden shapes!

any questions? : )

prompted by my tweet about my recent Rent-A-Poem post, cereisinger asked:

"Vogon poetry also? Or do I need to visit Rent-A-Wreck?"

to which My Friend Will responded:

Dear Sir:

Since the recitation of Vogon poetry is considered by the Geneva Convention as torture, it is illegal to sell or distribute said material to private individuals.

We feel it our responsibility to warn you about a service you obliquely referred to,  Rent-A-Wretch. They are a shadow company operating  out of Somalia , led by an international poetry smuggler known only as El Tampon. Most of the examples that emerge from them are badly built or dangerously parsed, and should be avoided at all cost.

On a recent Friday night, for instance, the Stanford Medical Center Emergency Room was flooded by poetry reciters who had somehow acquired a Vogon poem at a kegger and recited it to possible dating material. Only two survived the resulting assaults.

1. If you find a Vogon poem, DO NOT TOUCH IT. Call a qualified Linguistics Professional.

2. Victims of Vogon poetry MUST BE TREATED IMMEDIATELY. Flush with Dr. Seuss, and induce reciting.

3. Remember: reciting Vogon poetry WILL eviscerate your sexual life and  may land you in the hospital.

Thank you for your time.

Ford Prefect
Vogon Poetry Defense Consultant

probably many people living today know how to tell what crawled across your screen while you slept just by taking a close-up look at the tiny little droppings left there.

I saw these little dots for years. finally saw a spider leave a dropping. i suspect it's all sorts of local insects in the night

I don't lick my finger to get the job done anymore, although it's probably inconsequential.

ya know, just like many can tell deer skat from wolf skat, somebody out there can tell daddy longlegs skat from ... moth? ant?

a friend taught me that insect skat is called frass. I just keep thinking fricassee.

another friend suggested that with insect consumption all the rage, I should catch them and eat them.  well, I never see them so I'd have to rig up my laptop like so.

on my way home I passed a party rental store but I misread the sign as "poetry rental".  I relayed this little detail to My Friend Will, told him how my brain then meandered as if that were real.  what if we really Could rent poetry?  in my inbox I was later greeted with this - from My Friend Will:






Dear Customer:

Hertz Rent-a-Poem is pleased to announce the sale of our quality, pre-owned poems -- now at lower prices!

These are not stripped down one-liners. All of these poems contain luxurious appointments such as internal subtexts, obscure metaphors, memorable sound bites, and  multiple levels of subtle contextual perspectives that will bring a wry smile to your face and impart a sense of your superior linguistic skills.

You will be the hit of the evening when you arrive with any of these. From the subcompact Haiku to the flowing lines of the modern Epics, to the taut, street-wise Slams, you will be the envy of any social situation.

Offer is limited. Only lanky English majors with soul-searching eyes will be considered. You must have an Angst value of 800 or better to qualify. The warranty on these items is limited. There is no claim, express or implied, that you will get laid by using these poems. Any additional work you do on these poems while drunk, such as:

1. Accidentally changing Hopkins' Windhover's first line from:
"I caught this morning morning's minion"
to
"I caught this minion this morning, it's morning's, s'morning...good morning..."

2. Accidentally changing Eliot's "I should have been a pair of ragged claws, scuttling across the floors of silent seas," to "...scuttling across the sores of silent fleas."

3. Accidentally combining poems: "So much ...depends upon...the red wheelbarrow...diverging in a yellow wood...
 
shall not be covered by this policy.

These poems are sold as is. The usefulness of a Haiku is temporary, and may only last the length of one attempt to get laid. Klingon epic poetry recited at a Superbowl party during a third quarter rout of the local team has been known to be fatal. Please recite sensibly.